Features, News

It’s There! Free Ball’s Crucible Curse

By Free Ball

BBC Failure
The announcer’s insistence that we’d soon be “back to the snooker in York” added confusion to the struggle!

On Friday morning I woke up feeling suitably groggy after another day’s heady mix of snooker and refreshments. Like a bear with a sore head, I went to put the morning porridge on only to find the cooker wasn’t working. I tried to turn the TV on, and then realised the electricity off. After a series of cat and mouse calls with the landlord, it was clear that I wouldn’t have power for the morning sessions. So I did what any self respecting snooker fan would do – I went to the pub.

Deciding to treat myself to a cooked breakfast, I got out my android device to have a look at both matches, but it wouldn’t turn on. Breakfast arrived, and then… oh no, technical difficulties on the BBC! The pub didn’t have satellite TV so Eurosport was out. No need to panic though; BBC back up and running, then gone. I soon got a call saying the electricity was back on in my flat and I got back in time for The Daily Politics starting on BBC 2. Again, no need to panic; Red Button it is. What’s this? Gymnastics!?

So I did what any self respecting snooker fan would do – I went to the local library to watch on a computer. Walking hurriedly towards the library, an elderly lady was coming towards me. As we approached each other, it became clear that she was not feeling well. I was about to ask if she was alright, and she collapsed. Within minutes, we found ourselves in the back of an ambulance hurtling towards the nearest hospital. “Anne” was lucid, but obviously upset. Having been looked at by the doctors, and after a reasonable waiting time, it was suggested she stay in hospital for further tests. I waited with her until family arrived, then did what any self respecting snooker fan would do – I went back to the pub.

But it was too late. The afternoon sessions were over. I picked up some groceries, went back to my digs, cooked a meal, and sat down to watch the evening sessions. Halfway through the meal, the table leaf which my plate was resting on collapsed, so I had a lap with half my dinner on it. Halfway through the second frame on the Red Button, the electricity went off again. So I did what any self respecting human would do – I went to bed.

I realise this has nothing to do with The Championship, but I was wondering what kind of bizarre events have prevented the rest of you from watching our beloved sport? “Anne”, by the way, is fine.

Free Ball returns for a third year with his annual musings on the World Snooker Championship. Who is he? Who knows! Keep an eye out for the next offering soon. 


No Comments

  1. Frank B. Halfar

    Hilarious piece, and so reassuring to know one isn’t the only person to suffer from the cussedness of the inanimate. Wish you and us all that everything will work smoothly for the remainder of the tournament! And very good of you to take such good and compassionate care of “Anne”, well done.

  2. Pingback: It’s There! Taxi for Steve Davis – SnookerHQ

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