Over the course of the World Championship I’ve challenged one snooker aficionado to highlight the best quirky, outlandish, unusual, laughable and questionable observations of each day.
As if to further enhance his (or her!) alter ego as snooker’s sleeper, this spy has elected to go through the tournament in disguise.
Read below for the latest offering, but who is behind the Free Ball?
Where’s Your Head At?
By Free Ball
One player still has a while to go until they reach the halfway point of frames needed to lift the grand old trophy. We, the disciples of snooker, are just over half way in our own personal viewing marathon. And I’m starting to feel it.
I fought it the last two days, but have finally given in to using a different buttonhole for my trouser belt. It’s not the Red Button. My back has an ache from sitting, slouching and lying as I watch hour after hour. My nearest shop becomes concerned when I call in slightly early or late for refreshments.
The tan I picked up, while abroad early Spring, has more or less gone – the weather has been glorious here the last week. I’m not sleeping well. My mind whirrs down slowly each night. I’m guessing it’s not unwinding due to some wanton concern for particular snooker players. I’m fairly positive it’s to do with my most intimate relationship at the moment being with my TV.
I fully expect in the next couple of days to start snooker commentating on trivial events in the outside world. Picture the scenes…
Someone comes out of a high street loan shop with a smile on their face – “Every credit, young man”.
A disgruntled looking man in an Arsenal shirt has words with one in a Chelsea top – “Whatever you do, don’t hit the blue”.
A dog saunters over to me and asks where he can get a Chinese takeaway. I point to The Treasure House down the street and mumble – “It’s there”.
Hang on in there fellow disciples.
Thank the Lord that I have now retired! Although I have followed the championships since 1979 (“I’m in the final now, you know”) and been to the Crucible several times, this is the first year that I have watched the “red button” matches or taken advantage of the “online” facility. It’s a nightmare trying to follow every single one of the 31 matches, every single frame of the hundreds available, usually two at a time, one on the TV and the other on my laptop. I loved it when Hazel told us last week (9 days ago……is that all?) that BBC were broadcasting over 70 programmes this year, but now I need time to shave, PLEASE !!! I need time to eat, sleep and breathe !!!
Today could provide me with that time (fingers crossed) as there are 36 frames scheduled but, as the remaining four games in the second round after far from close, we may just get SEVEN to watch. Shame for the punters who have got tickets for today, but sympathise with me for all this stress. My wife may just get a few words out of me today so she may just send for the doctor.
Haha Pete, very well put!